February 27, 2009 § Leave a comment

While I was sitting at the dining room table with my laptop, I heard Chengyee’s song that she sings when she is in a happy-go-lucky mood as she and Edwin were walking down the hallway outside the apartment to come home. Edwin is a modest guy who is not horribly comfortable with my lounging around in a towel after I shower. To him, it’s still the equivalent of my being naked.

Me: [on hearing Chengyee’s happy-go-lucky song of “do do do dooo” outside decides to give warning of my being in a towel] I AM NAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEED!
Chengyee: [to Edwin in the hallway] Jenny’s naked.
Edwin: Really? How do you know?
Chengyee: Who else would be naked?
Andrea and Michelle: [overhear my naked warning and scream back from their respective bedrooms on opposite sides of the apartment] YAY! NAKED!
Greg: [cowers due to all the sudden screaming]


Food Shopping

February 21, 2009 § Leave a comment

On going to the market:

Me: Do you want to go to the market with me?
Diana: Sure.
Me: Yay!
Diana: [stares at me]
Me: [looks around to see if she is staring at something else]
Diana: …what do you need from the market? Don’t you have everything??

Shooting things

February 14, 2009 § Leave a comment

Me: So how was your day shooting things?
Edwin: Oh, it was fun! I’ll give you a heads up next time.
Me: Oh, no thanks; I’m a pacifist.
Chengyee: Yeah so? I’m a pacifist but I still do it. I’m not shooting anything live. No small animals! Guns don’t kill people; people kill people!
Me: Oh! Eddie Izzard!
Edwin: I don’t see how pacifism has to do with shooting guns.
Me: I don’t like violence. Or guns. Or any weapons.
Edwin and Chengyee: Eh…okay. [drops subject and bumble around the kitchen preparing something to eat]

Ten minutes later…
Edwin: [suddenly looks up from preparing dinner] Wait! Jenny is a pacifist?!
Me: Why is that so weird?
Edwin: It’s not…It’s just not what I would immediately think of. Like, Andrea…pacifist. Mo (Michelle)…not at all a pacifist. Jenny……hmmm… And it wouldn’t occur to me until later when someone throws a roll of toilet paper at me– Oh! Jenny! Pacifist!
Me and Chengyee: [stare at Edwin in silent and confused disbelief while trying to imagine why Edwin would be pelted with a rolls of toilet paper]

Spring Cleaning

February 14, 2009 § Leave a comment

After being gone for the day, Chengyee and Edwin walk into the apartment and see a FINALLY clean living room without the piles of strewn paper, mail, and books, randomly placed bags of plastic bottles for recycling, weeks of empty take-out containers and an empty dining room table with the exception of my laptop, my painting supplies, and my sketchbook. The apartment has not been this clean since we came back from winter break. I have also moved from my usual seat at the head of the dining room table to a seat on the right side of the table.

Edwin: Something feels different…
Chengyee: Yeah…why does it feel different?
Edwin and Chengyee: …
Edwin: OH! The apartment’s clean!
Chengyee: Oooh!….Wait, something still feels different.
Edwin: Yeah, the apartment is clean!
Me: Yeah! It hasn’t been clean for months!
Chengyee: [looking genuinely puzzled and slightly agitated] No…something still feels different.
Me and Edwin: …
Chengyee: Oh! Jenny’s moved!
Edwin: …?!
Me: That’s what you noticed?!

Charmed, I’m sure

February 8, 2009 § Leave a comment

On my charming personality:
M: I think (insert boy’s name)’s (M’s friend I met two weeks ago who has a crush on her) scared of you too.
Jenny: How so?
M: [quoting boy] She’s the type that will just…snap and then she’ll do something crazy like skin me alive and feed me to her dog or something.
Jenny: Aww, how nice of him.
M: If we were to go to the movies on Friday, would you mind a double date? I don’t know how else to get rid of him.

This really proves one main thing: guys who are interested in me don’t listen to a word I say. Or do.

Lunchtime Conversations

February 4, 2009 § Leave a comment

On my attention span:
Chengyee: So, what were you and Diana talking about earlier?
Me: …Eh?
Chengyee: When I was looking at my application (to graduate school)?
Me: …Eh? I have the attention span of a peanut.
Chengyee: [a two-second delay after I started speaking] …attention span of a peanut.
Me: I aspire to be a cashew.
Chengyee: …?! Why specifically a cashew? Out of all the other nuts?
Me: I think they taste the best.

On elementary school crushes:
Me: [shows Michelle a picture of my first grade crush] This is my first grade crush.
Michelle: Wow…I didn’t start having crushes until I was like…in the third grade. And even then, it was that confused feeling… where you just want to hit them all the time.
Chengyee: [abruptly stops munching on her corn on the cob] What?!
Me: [laughing so hard that I had to grip the dining room table to keep from falling over]
Michelle: What? You guys didn’t feel that way..?
Me: I was nice to mine!
Michelle: [pouts] I didn’t know I was the only one…

On more efficient ways to get to campus (even though we live one block away from campus):
Chengyee: I wish I had a catapult. That way, I would accurately set it so that I could just catapult myself from City Park (our apartment building) to VKC (the building her class was in) or any other building on campus. No walking, no biking, no driving!
Me: It’d be like flying!
Chengyee: The bad thing is that I think other people would copy my idea, and then I would end up hitting someone in mid-air.

Grocery Shopping

February 4, 2009 § Leave a comment

On looking for me in the supermarket:
Chengyee: You know, it’s kind of sad that when I couldn’t find you, I knew to look deeper in the bread aisle.

On shopping cart confusion:

Chengyee: [slowly swivels the cart to turn around while I walk along the cart as it swivels trying to stick my upper body in] It wasn’t until I had turn 270 degrees before I realized that you were trying to get something from the cart!

On bypassing a stranger whose cart is obstructing the aisle:

Me: Beep! Beep! (think toy car horn)
Stranger: [a little shocked and moves cart]
Chengyee: …!?

Where Am I?

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